Home I.G. Advice I.G. Advice: My Boyfriend is a TP Buffoon

I.G. Advice: My Boyfriend is a TP Buffoon


My Dearest Sweet King,

My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year.  My one pet peeve with him has been the toilet paper roll – he never changes it, and if we run out of toilet paper he never goes out to buy new rolls.  I often run to the bathroom and do my business only to reach over and see that once again, there is no Charmin.  No matter how many times I complain, he just says “oh” and continues on with his habit of forgetting the toilet paper.

Well, about a month ago, I had a sudden case of the runs and dashed to the bathroom with a bad stomach.  After doing my worst in years, I reached over to discover that – lo and behold – there was no toilet paper.  Not only was there none in the dispenser, but none on the shelf above the sink where we keep the rest.  When I called to my boyfriend for help he just laughed and said there was nothing he could do.

Since that day I have been refusing to put out toilet paper.  I have my own little stash, but I have informed him that until he goes out to get toilet paper and plugs it into the dispenser himself, there will be no more.  And guess what I found today?  Behind the toilet, his magazine that he brings into the bathroom “to read” was actually being used to wipe his butt!  Ughhhhh!

I don’t ask much. I do the laundry and the dishes, keep the house clean.  My boyfriend, too, is pretty much a great guy and we get along in every way.
So while I think his stubborn and immature behavior is appalling, I’m not entirely ready to give up on him for this reason.  What says you?

Ready to Wipe the Floor with Him in Palm Springs, CA


Dear Wipe Away,

I am going to keep this one short and simple.  Please go to Applebee’s, rip the big toilet paper dispenser off the wall (the one that hold’s ten rolls at once), stow it in a duffel bag to take home then affix in your bathroom.  You might be accused of petty larceny, but at least you will have peace of mind.  OK, there is probably somewhere that sells those multiple-roll dispensers, but irregardless.  That story about your boyfriend wiping himself with a magazine is disgusting, but if TP amnesia is his biggest sin count your blessings and relax!  Since I have the don’t have the only answer, I am trying out this poll feature.  Do you agree with me?   Vote below!

[polldaddy poll=4642864]

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