Dear Master of Glamour,
I am a girl of average weight (not yet in double digit sizes) who people seem to remember as being fatter than I am. I often meet people I haven’t seen in a while and hear them comment, “Oh, you lost weight!” Although this should be a compliment, it’s no fluke-I get it all the time. The fact is, though, I haven’t gained or lost a single pound since college, more than 15 years ago.
I’d normally just brush it off, but as I mentioned above, I get this a LOT… And sometimes it doesn’t stop at a comment. The person will go on and on. “you were such a fattie,” they will say, or “I was so worried for your health.”
Since I know the last time I bought a pair of jeans or went up a size (or down) I know they’re lying. And of course, frankly it hurts to be called a fattie when I know the girl they remember as being ever so much larger was exactly the same size as I am now. How can I stop this cycle? How do I make people stop remembering me as being fatter than I am?
Best regards, Optical Illusion in Illinois
The two types of questions I get most are “How do I have anal sex?” and “How do I lose weight?” Being overweight is a matter of perspective and has to do with your social class, where you live and how you feel. Back in 1700’s France, for example, only the rich had enough money to be overweight so zaftig women were the rage. Hence we have the adjective “Rubenesque” to describe big beautiful women.
Personally, I have a bit of a problem computing your query. You look a lot slimmer but are the same weight? Did you just grow into the weight? Did you get toned and the muscle weight replaced the fat weight? I don’t know why people are so commenting on your weight. What I do know is that you have at least created the illusion of having lost weight. Really I don’t give a shit about the numerical number of your weight. Are you healthier? Do you feel healthier? Are you able to bag hotter guys now that wouldn’t even look at you in the chunky phase? These are the important questions.
My philosophy is you can’t blame people for their most obvious question. If you look super pregnant, you can’t blame them for saying, “When is he/she due?” I am from Kansas, and I really can’t blame people for saying the obvious shit about Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. What I can do is take that interest and spin it into something I wish to talk about. So when you meet people say, “Yes, I changed my lifestyle …” then insert at this point anywhere you wish to take the conversation. Fighting this is going to be futile and just leave you with a kind of metaphysical razor burn. Roll with it. Own it! Most Americans- indeed most of the English speaking world- are concerned about their weight. You have a superb power at your hands, because you could potentially lead them to a place they have better self esteem. Whether you want to fight people’s natural question or rock with it is entirely up to you! And kudos for looking slimmer and healthier, give or take any actual weight gain!
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