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Entrepreneurial Instincts



While I figure out the directions I take this blog and my life, I’ll keep posting ideas as they come to me. I often have random business ideas. None of which I can do anything with, because I have nothing with which to start a business. Nonetheless, I do often see needs that could be met, which is why I write this post. Henceforth is the list of random business ideas that have floated inside my deteriorating grey matter for a few years.


You ever notice at cafes like Starbucks or many restaurants, that even though obesity is an epidemic in the USA it is hard to find a carb-free meal? Dr. Atkins, Dr. Dukan and countless others
are proponents of a diet of decreased carbs. But when I go to get my morning latté, my only non-carb choice of food is usually a beat-up banana or maybe some overpriced platter of stale pita with hummus. I would pay GOOD MONEY for more carb-free lunch choices. A slice of turkey with an egg-white omelette at a decent price? Load me up. Make a whole shop with ONLY low-carb choices. Just call the place “LOW-CARB BUFFET” and make it affordable. I don’t think poverty and obesity should be as connected as they are in the USA.


Ever been at a bar or club and the major urge to hit the restroom has hit you? No disrespect to bar owners, but when you are enjoying nightlife and nature rears her ugly head, straddling a dirty infected bar toilet is DISGUSTING. I would pay proper money in the Castro, Chelsea or any nightlife area just to go do my business in a sterile environment. Let’s just add to this, I don’t usually smoke cigarettes, but when I am tipsy I smoke. AND the FIRST THING I need to do is take a 10 POUND DUMP. Social smokers of the world, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!! Of course there would be a slew of legal matters to iron out. How do you make a sterile public toilet without making sure that drug addicts and various vagrants don’t make it their place as well? I’ll leave these deep thoughts to the stalwart entrepreneur that takes “STERILE TOILETS” on. $10 for 10 minutes in a good place to plop would rake in a fortune as far as I am concerned. What is Bill Gates number??


There is a popular dish in Japan that almost no Japanese restaurant touches in the USA: okonomiyaki. I know a few restaurants serve this, but my idea is for a concept restaurant. Okonomiyaki is a mouthful to say, so I would just change its name permanently to “Japanese Pizza” – which sounds much more appetizing wouldn’t you agree? Okonomiyaki is merely a flour-based batter dish with shredded cabbage, meat toppings and sauce on top. It originates in post-WW2 Osaka because food resources were scarce and it is incredibly easy to make. I think the key to making JAPANESE PIZZA accessible to the USA is the marketing of it. Get rid of the Orientalized Asia-ness of it all. Give the shop a modern interior with K-Pop and hip hop playing on the speakers. The only downfall of this is I would feel guilty: JAPANESE PIZZA loads up the calories, and in the fatness of North America would I be playing penance to the obesity devil? Considering most American sushi places make what could be a calorie-lite dish super fattening with tempura and dressings like mayo, I think Japanese pizza could be a hit without selling your soul to the devil. What do you think?  Hopefully someone hears my entrepreneurial ramblings. I’ll only ask for 12% of your royalties LOLz.


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Charles is an author of the comic memoirs Impossibly Glamorous and San Francisco Daddy. Follow him on major social media platforms @kingcharles0921 by clicking below.