X-MEN: Richard Nixon Looks Really WEIRD

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There’s a moment when Magneto circa 1974 flies an entire baseball stadium (presumably the Baltimore Orioles, I don’t think Washington DC had a team at that time), and smashes it around the White House which is hosting a bunch of reporters and President Richard Nixon. The actor looks only slightly like the historical Nixon; in fact, he looks more like a lost member of the Sopranos—like Gustavo Soprano who’s Tony’s down and out cousin that runs a used car lot in Atlantic City. Anyway, the overall What the Fuck-ness of the moment almost overwhelms the movie, which otherwise is a decent enough popcorn action movie.

So the premise is that to keep *THE WORLD FROM ENDING* the X-Men send good ole Wolverine back to the ’70s. Everyone who worked on American Hustle, including Jennifer Lawrence, apparently moved immediately into working on X-Men: Days of Future Past, because the same attention to texture and props seems evident. I’m sure if I studied the credits we might find a few production people that did both movies. Jennifer Lawrence (I had no idea she was an X-Man), reprises her role as Mystique who is like this nubile, Blue Man Group reject that’s kinda naked but can shift shapes. Wolverine must stop her. I have to give the CGI team a golf clap, as I am pretty sure there was entire wing at Industrial Light and Magic committed to getting Mystique’s boob-jiggle JUST RIGHT. Well this film is targeted at guys in their teens and twenties… and… boobies are important. Subtle but noticeable bounce-factor is sure to draw in an extra 20 million in box office receipts in Romania, Bolivia and some such.

Anyway, I was entertained for a couple hours, and it was good because I sort of wanted to turn my brain off. Ladies, if you are groaning about joining your BF to see this remember: Hugh Jackman BOOTY SHOT. If you can get past the Sam the Eagle frou-frou hairdo he’s sportin’, Jackman ass cheeks await. I say X-Men: Days of Future Past is OK entertainment for an action pic. Will Wolverine save the world? Does Magneto create a new sports team? Will J Law’s bionic blue boobies mesmerize Magneto? You’ll just have to watch and see.