X-MEN: Richard Nixon Looks Really WEIRD

20140527-225233-82353518.jpg

There’s a moment when Magneto circa 1974 flies an entire baseball stadium (presumably the Baltimore Orioles, I don’t think Washington DC had a team at that time), and smashes it around the White House which is hosting a bunch of reporters and President Richard Nixon. The actor looks only slightly like the historical Nixon; in fact, he looks more like a lost member of the Sopranos—like Gustavo Soprano who’s Tony’s down and out cousin that runs a used car lot in Atlantic City. Anyway, the overall What the Fuck-ness of the moment almost overwhelms the movie, which otherwise is a decent enough popcorn action movie.

So the premise is that to keep *THE WORLD FROM ENDING* the X-Men send good ole Wolverine back to the ’70s. Everyone who worked on American Hustle, including Jennifer Lawrence, apparently moved immediately into working on X-Men: Days of Future Past, because the same attention to texture and props seems evident. I’m sure if I studied the credits we might find a few production people that did both movies. Jennifer Lawrence (I had no idea she was an X-Man), reprises her role as Mystique who is like this nubile, Blue Man Group reject that’s kinda naked but can shift shapes. Wolverine must stop her. I have to give the CGI team a golf clap, as I am pretty sure there was entire wing at Industrial Light and Magic committed to getting Mystique’s boob-jiggle JUST RIGHT. Well this film is targeted at guys in their teens and twenties… and… boobies are important. Subtle but noticeable bounce-factor is sure to draw in an extra 20 million in box office receipts in Romania, Bolivia and some such.

Anyway, I was entertained for a couple hours, and it was good because I sort of wanted to turn my brain off. Ladies, if you are groaning about joining your BF to see this remember: Hugh Jackman BOOTY SHOT. If you can get past the Sam the Eagle frou-frou hairdo he’s sportin’, Jackman ass cheeks await. I say X-Men: Days of Future Past is OK entertainment for an action pic. Will Wolverine save the world? Does Magneto create a new sports team? Will J Law’s bionic blue boobies mesmerize Magneto? You’ll just have to watch and see.

 

 

Support Impossibly Glamorous! You can do so by purchasing my book Impossibly Glamorous in paperback or digital. Find it at your local independent bookstore, Barnes & Noble, Amazon and just about everywhere! Play with me on Twitter.