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Movie Review: Oculus or Ocul-ASS?

I like a good scare pic, and I think Oculus had high aspirations. You could tell the director wanted it to be all artistical and shit. Kaylie and her brother Tim were children when a spooooky mirror got the small boy to shoot his father. The spooooky mirror possesses people’s minds and gets them to…

muppets most wanted

MUPPETS MOST WANTED: Kind of Awesome

I don’t watch childrens’ movies, but Tina Fey with The Muppets sounded too good to resist, so I sheepishly bought a ticket for 1 to see the movie. Will people think I’m creepy? Some 36 year old gay guy alone at Muppets Most Wanted might freak some people out, I thought. Thankfully, there was no…

Hunky Gladiator

POMPEII Movie Review: Why Are the Roman Slaves So HUNKY?

I had been looking forward to Pompeii 3-D, since I’ll visit the ruins in Italy someday. Pompeii’s archaeological findings allow people to peek into Roman daily life, with many fascinating relics preserved millenia under a volcanic cascade that covered the city with 4 meters of ash and pumice in 79 AD. I really wanted an earnest…

Bitch, please

“Her” : I’d Divorce This Schmuck Too

I have really been avoiding this movie, despite the Oscar buzz. Maybe it’s that I take particular offense to Joaquin Phoenix’s mustache. Maybe it’s the premise of a guy falling in love with his computer. Maybe it is because it hits close to home. I often walk into cafés here in San Francisco in which…

Andrew Jacobs

Paranormal Activity: The One With Cute Latino Guys

I entirely planned on skipping this Paranormal Activity until I saw the trailer with cute Latin guys and some beefy cholos, so I thought I’d give it a chance. Before we get to the review though, has anyone seen Cinemark Theaters’ absurd commercial for the children’s charity Variety? This commercial plays before all the movies…