Depp in Transcendence

Transcendence: Movie Review

In the near future in San Francisco area, scientists are playing with the idea of singularity and nanotechnology. Johnny Depp stars as this scientist on the cusp of linking humanity and computers. Not everyone likes this idea, and some cyber terrorists shoot him with radioactive bullets. He doesn’t quite die, but his wife decides the…

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Movie Review: Oculus or Ocul-ASS?

I like a good scare pic, and I think Oculus had high aspirations. You could tell the director wanted it to be all artistical and shit. Kaylie and her brother Tim were children when a spooooky mirror got the small boy to shoot his father. The spooooky mirror possesses people’s minds and gets them to…

muppets most wanted

MUPPETS MOST WANTED: Kind of Awesome

I don’t watch childrens’ movies, but Tina Fey with The Muppets sounded too good to resist, so I sheepishly bought a ticket for 1 to see the movie. Will people think I’m creepy? Some 36 year old gay guy alone at Muppets Most Wanted might freak some people out, I thought. Thankfully, there was no…

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“Captain America 2″ Movie Review + LIGHTNING ROUND

Don’t ever complain that I don’t give good service here at Impossibly Glamorous—today I give you a review of Captain America as well as a lightning round with short reviews of four (count ‘em) FOUR other movies: Grand Budapest Hotel, Non-Stop, 300: Rise of an Empire and Bad Words. Captain America: The Winter Soldier Chris…

Hunky Gladiator

POMPEII Movie Review: Why Are the Roman Slaves So HUNKY?

I had been looking forward to Pompeii 3-D, since I’ll visit the ruins in Italy someday. Pompeii’s archaeological findings allow people to peek into Roman daily life, with many fascinating relics preserved millenia under a volcanic cascade that covered the city with 4 meters of ash and pumice in 79 AD. I really wanted an earnest…

Bitch, please

“Her” : I’d Divorce This Schmuck Too

I have really been avoiding this movie, despite the Oscar buzz. Maybe it’s that I take particular offense to Joaquin Phoenix’s mustache. Maybe it’s the premise of a guy falling in love with his computer. Maybe it is because it hits close to home. I often walk into cafés here in San Francisco in which…

Andrew Jacobs

Paranormal Activity: The One With Cute Latino Guys

I entirely planned on skipping this Paranormal Activity until I saw the trailer with cute Latin guys and some beefy cholos, so I thought I’d give it a chance. Before we get to the review though, has anyone seen Cinemark Theaters’ absurd commercial for the children’s charity Variety? This commercial plays before all the movies…