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I.G. Advice: Dealing with a Toxic Co-Worker

(Original Mail in Japanese)

Charles, I need some advice! I wanted to ask you something about love, but I need your opinion about my new workplace, since I am having issues with a co-worker of mine. I’m so stressed out about it my stomach hurts everyday. Read the rest of this entry »

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I.G. Advice: I am at a Crossroads

Dear KC, What do you do when you are interested in two people? What criteria do you use to decide? Speak the Truth, Sleepless in Saskatchewan

Dear Sleepless,

I am surrounded by love and romance today, if only because I spend this Christmas Eve in Japan, where the holiday of Christmas has been distorted and twisted into something resembling Valentine’s Day e.g. a day in which men spend money on women in hopes of Mrs. Santa roasting chestnuts in her open fire. No talk of Baby Jesus, Rudolph and sugarplums, the Japanese are in a rush to break as many Commandments as possible to celebrate the alleged birthday of the Christian Messiah. But I digress…

So you have the luxury of choosing Mr. A or Mr. B, I understand. I don’t have any information about the Rival Romeos, and I suppose you are thinking about a steady relationship. Like Beyoncé in Dreamgirls, you find yourself at a crossroads. Which guy should you pick to sing “Santa Baby” to in only your chonies and reindeer antlers? Here are some things I might consider:

1. Are you on the same page about relationship boundaries? Do you both want monogamy or are you of the open relationship ilk? Are you as chaste as Mother Theresa and he closer to Caligula? If so, then choose the guy whose moral compass points away from Babylon (or Rome as it were).

2. How is their relationship with food? Once you grow old and gray, and the Viagra just don’t work no more, you will still be eating together. So if you are carb-free, rabbit-food-munching vegan and he eats steak with his Cheerios, I would think long and hard. Better choose the guy you can enjoy your herbal-grass smoothies with well into the Golden years. Attitudes toward exercise (or lack thereof) should cross your mind, also.

3. When you become a senior, in addition to eating together you will also still be talking a lot- choose the one who is a better conversationalist.

4. Well, you aren’t old yet, you still have a lot of knocking boots to do. How is the chemistry? For me, there needs to be seismic shifting when you kiss. Also, I would choose the guy with the bigger, thicker, longer … heart.

5. You might go for the guy with a somewhat similar background. Sure, the “opposites attract” thing can be a turn on, but the successful couples around me seem to come from similar educational and economic backgrounds. If you grew up among the Vanderbilts and went to Dalton, Princeton then Wharton, then your dalliance with the construction worker will probably end as just that, a dalliance. I am a hopeless romantic, though, so I like it when someone proves me wrong.

6. Also, I suggest hooking up with the guy who will buy me furs and leather who has that je ne sais quoi, that really trips my trigger, lights my fire. Presents from Dior can aid in lighting said fire. Actually, I am not materialistic at all, but an indication he understands your deeper needs is a must!

Have a burning question? Ask me anything you like by emailing charukyu@gmail.com!